Headache update:  according to the MRI, I have a brain! that appears to be normal.  Isn’t it great to know that for sure?

It did not, however, lead us to a treatment path.  I continued to take Midrin or Toradol as needed and to use peppermint oil and heat, which also offered some relief.

Thanks to a friend, I tried Physical Therapy with Kent Pellerite whose background in PT as well as Visceral Manipulation and Craniosacral work has miraculously restored my head to mostly pain-free!  I am so grateful to have found such a treasure in Kent!  He also introduced me to a tool called The Stillpoint Inducer:

The Amazing Stillpoint Inducer

They are available at: http://www.amazon.com/body-back-company-Still-Inducer/dp/B000P9BTCY and come in soft and firm styles.  I use mine twice a day and whenever I feel a headache on its way.  Not only does the headache quiet down, I also feel deep relaxation throughout my body.

In other news, the season is changing, so the lupus seems to be talking to me.  Deep fatigue and high fevers have made the past week frustrating for me. One night, I woke my husband up crying, and he just held me and sang to me until I returned to sleep.

I was especially disappointed by the potential flare because I have so many things I want to do!

Once I reminded myself to return to the present moment and accept what is, I was able to meditate more deeply and surrender to the current experience.  I even got some good cuddle time in bed and read fiction for fun and took bubble baths.

This morning, I am enjoying some extra energy while trying to remind myself that this is the Now.  Another day might be different, so I’m gonna celebrate today!

I want a simpler life, and I want simpler dreams. Here are the most important things I want to do:

• love
• meditate
• contribute to the happiness on the planet
• pray
• exercise
• heal
• love

My days are taking on a lovely rhythm with lots of breathing and smiling.  I wonder what my next dreams will be and how I will best be able to contribute to the world.

For now, I am contributing a relaxed body and mind full of compassion and love.

Glowing Angel of Love who Inspires Me

In an exercise I learned from Meredith Young-Sowers (www.stillpoint.org), I place my hands over my heart, close my eyes and breathe. I find myself effortlessly connected to the love that is my source.

I hope that you will, too!

Yesterday was my MRI, which will hopefully lead us to an easy remedy for my headaches.

Wishing you love!

Nothing I do or don’t do assures that I will feel well or unwell.  None of my health care practitioners claim to have the answers; many of the books I read claim to have contradicting ones.

Some of the medicines I take make some of my symptoms feel better.  Sometimes I need other medicines to counteract their side effects.

I am a paradox when it comes to common sense health advice.  My severe GI issues call for a low-fiber, soft-foods diet (bye-bye salad!) while fibromyalgia means that my exercise routine needs to be gentle and easy.  When lupus or scleroderma tells my body I need rest, I need to rest.  

The one thing I know that works 100% of the time with no side effects is love.  In the presence of my family and friends, of nature, of God, of the stillness in my heart, of love, I am whole and healed.

I believe that the more time I can spend in that state of peaceful joy, the more my body will heal.  In the weeks and months to come, I will seek opportunities to still my monkey-mind from its daily worries and concerns and to enter again and again, for longer and longer periods, communion with love.

I welcome suggestions for how you find love in your life and how you connect with your still, small voice of peace.  And, of course, I’ll be sharing updates on my progress.

I enjoyed writing them, and I love to read them to myself–three times a day, as recommended.  I’ve tried looking at myself in the mirror when I read them, and it really moves me that my eyes actually well up with tears when I read one of them. 

And now, I share them with you!  I’d love to hear about your affirmations, too.

General Affirmations:

• I am a being of light–a beacon of peace, joy, and love.
• I matter to God, who loves and assists me in service.
• My life is filled with love and beauty.
• I am grateful for each experience in my life.
• I take a deep breath and savor the gift of NOW.
• I am awed by all the blessings I receive every day.
• I am God’s precious child.

Goal-Specific Affirmations:

• I am feeling exhilarated and secure to be alive in my strong, healthy body.
• I tear up to see the faces of people who have been touched by my books and speeches.
• I am so relaxed and comfortable in our spacious, light, airy home with its huge, functional kitchen, luxurious bath, and my top-of-the-world studio.
• I am content and secure that we have enough money to be generous to anyone in need.
• I joyously write another check to my microlending foundation as I sign another lucrative contract.
• I am so proud of all the learning and growth that occurs at my retreat centers.

I’m finding this book to be a very helpful way to put the ideas from The Secret into practice.  I now have a vision board full of healing images as well as these words full of hope.

I go to sleep happy tonight, excited for what's to come. Thanks, Jack Canfield!

http://www.jackcanfield.com/

I’m conscious of cognitive dysfunctions, and I’m a big fan of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns.  So I could tell that my thoughts were affecting my feelings and that I needed a change.

I practiced The Sedona Method for awhile (more on that in another post), but I really wasn’t having success in releasing my feelings in that moment.  While I’m finding The Sedona Method very powerful, I’m still just a toddler fumbling with her steps with it.

So I turned to a book that I’m more comfortable with, one that has deeply moved me in the past: Ask and It Is Given  by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

I especially love the section about physical healing.  I read the words affirming that my body knows what it needs to do to heal and then opened myself up to love and healing, breathing easily as I allowed my cells to open up and welcome the healing energy.  I didn’t use any effort.  I just relaxed and breathed and allowed.

My feelings of worthlessness and despair dissipated, leaving behind joy and trust.  Waking up this morning, I was ready for a great day of learning and loving.  And it was!

Even though it requires more time than I’d realized, this blog is one of my top priorities for the use of my limited energy.

My life’s priorities go something like this:
1. feel better
2. make others feel better
That’s about it. As I integrate exercise, a healthy (for me) diet, and meditation into my life, I turned outward to see if there’s a way I can contribute to the rest of the world.

I’m hoping that sharing my journey will lighten yours. During these days of debate on health care reform, I especially feel called to share my perspective. I’m also about to start a physical therapy program to heal a 3-month-long headache and will likely undertake some medication changes in the coming months that I’ll want to discuss.

Now I’m off to outline my main points for a letter to my Senators and Congressman regarding health care reform! Wishing you peace, joy, and love!

Soon I’ll be living in Louisville and focusing my entire life on healing body and soul for one special month.  A little bit of time out of time when my main priorities will be eating, writing, breathing, and healing. 

I’ll eat what my nutritionist recommends and take as long to make it as it takes.  I’ll belly breathe every time I notice I’m not.  I’ll write every day, seeking the wisdom that heals.  And anything else I think might help, I’ll do.

I’ll keep up with my gratitude journal, rewrite those parts of my life story that I see differently now, and do yoga daily.  I’ll read for healing of body and spirit and ingest the advice that resonates with me. 

I’ll be visiting the fine practitioners at the Louisville MultiCare Centre:

www.multicarecentre.com/

Home of the March to Health Practitioners

In this lovely space, with access to a chiropractor, massage therapists, a biofeedback expert, and other healing modalities, I will find support for my healing.

Most importantly, I’ll be staying with my best friend, and our presence will be a comfort and encouragement to each other.

Basking in each other’s love, we’ll both be able to do more than we could alone.  Like Jesus said, “wherever two or more are gathered, there I AM in their midst.”  Our  hearts and souls will unify to ignite powerful healing.  And I shall return home to Bloomington, IN, a different woman.

Already I’ve realized that I want to own my values expressed in my fears.  So here comes the reframing:

• I value other people, and I want them to be happy.  If I can help, I want to.
• I value doing the right thing. I have ethics best summed up in the Golden Rule, and I always want to act from love.
• I value excellence.  When I take on a project, I want to do it well.
• I know I’m good enough.  I believe everyone is good and worthwhile. Me too.

I’m giving up stressing over them, but I am holding onto the part that matters. 

Another mindshift miracle, courtesy of a bubble bath!

My most recent doctor visit brought several things to light.  The most important is how much I stress myself out. I’ve done it all my life.

My major worries:

• Making sure everyone is happy
• Making sure I do it right
• Doing the right thing
• Being good enough
• Not hurting people’s feelings

And I’ve worried about these things pretty much all of my life.  I can find particular stressful times, and I know I’m growing away from this way of life, but wow!  It is so painful to look at.

Sometimes I feel a panic attack just from considering it.

Why panic?  What if I stop worrying and then I’m not a good person and people get hurt and I do the wrong thing and I’m a bad person?

What if I give up constant vigilance? 

We shall see, shan’t we?  Because I don’t have energy for vigilance any more.  And, I suppose, I want to see who I am without it. 

Besides, I think the constant vigilance is killing me.  Breathing through my belly is much less natural to me than breath through my chest.  The chest breathing brings on feelings of stress and fear.  I don’t want that anymore.

My commitment is to belly breathing, self-loving, and self-acceptance, even if I turn out to be a mean person who hurts others and does everything wrong.

At least I’ll be me.  And less stressed.